Depression and Misunderstandings
- *Somebody looked at me* I smiled.
- ***
- “Hey Ravi she was nice isn’t she?” Alam said
- “Who?” Pretending to be what I am.
- “The girl passed by”
- “But we didn’t even touch”
- Yet I said sorry to that stranger girl without looking at her face, just as my reflex.
- “And even, didn’t see her face”
- “Oh… because Aradhna is beside you”
- “I am not like this, even when no one is around” I ended.
- Ok… I didn’t lie, but why the fuck I blushed.
- “What are you guys talking about?” Aradhna
- “You don’t have to interfere…” I said
- Scenario: Alam, Aradhna and I were roaming out of ITI in search of ice cream. Why? Because I was not ready to accept the 20Rs which I once gave Aradhna for an emergency help. Yet, she bought a sugar filled cold drink. I asked her to give an ice cream treat in favour. Don’t laugh. I know it’s my own money getting spend, but it’s not about money or I should say 20Rs are nothing in front of paneer momos or a party worth 250Rs where…
- ***flashback***
- (I don’t remember the exact reason)
- “Sorry guys, I have to go. I am getting late for tuitions” Of course, I as a teacher.
- “No problem. You pay and go” Vishal said
- “Ok…” And I continued scanning the QR
- Is anyone supposed to interrupt me? No! These guys, I mean these FEA guys are like this only.
- “Aren’t you getting late now?” Bilal said
- “Yea I am… “ and I left off.
- ***after few days, still in flashback***
- “What happened Muskan, don’t you want to eat anything. Everybody is feasting already” Somebody said while eating.
- “Huh… she is new. She will learn.” I added while struggling to get a fork.
- ***back to present***
- “Sorry. We don’t have any 10Rs, 20Rs, 25Rs, or any other ice cream. All over” shopkeeper said.
- Soon, my anxiety said that, since morning I acted up like Sigma and focused on Steno and PYQ for my final semester, then why did I agree to join them all of a sudden? I don’t know. May be to avoid…
- “Ravi, ice cream was out of stock. Because you didn’t come with us” Aradhna once said.
- **and now**
- “Today Ravi is with us, that’s why we didn’t get”
- “Aayen ??” Is she kind of crazy?
- Finally I ended up the upcoming loop by asking her a simple lassi… oh sorry, “smooth” treat.
- Now I am guilty of my actions. Kind of guilty of misunderstandings that I supported, between me and Aradhna. Even she is trapped. It was actually good hearing…
- “Ravi, you know Aradhna called, and she was asking about you. I said he is studying.”
- Ok. Its ok…
- “You know Eram, we are just side gigs. The actual treat was for Aradhna.”
- Aradhna and I blushed. Still ok…
- “I recently asked about you. And she said yes”
- It’s not ok.
- “We thought you won’t go because Aradhna denied. So we didn’t ask you”
- It’s not ok at all!
- And when I asked her directly, actually indirectly.
- “Ok. My turn. Sentences are…
- You like somebody a lot.
- You like somebody a little.
- You don’t like anyone at all.
- Now choose…”
- “There is no one at all” she said
- “Hm… thanks. Now I believe you 10%” I said.
- ***
- “You should have chosen first 2 options”
- Alamara said to Aradhna.
- ***What Next***
- Even if I am not playing this game, it’s hard to loose. Until I control…
- {at home}
- “…” I laughed.
- “He has become a lunatic” Mom said.
- “…” I laughed even more.
- {at Bilal’s home}
- “Even though Swati is getting married, she was good for you. I would have come to your marriage no matter how far the venue might be” Bilal said
- “…” I smiled.
- {at ITI}
- “Sir! Vaibhav wants me to feed him with my hands” I tried complaining.
- “He might have seen you feeding somebody. May be Alamara” Sir said.
- “…” I smiled and didn’t say anything.
- ***
- “Ravi must have enjoyed his relationship” boys of my class said while I ate lunch with them.
- “…” I smi… you know.
- ***Today in a CSR seminar***
- “Look him, how seriously he is staring at me. You don’t have to be that serious” Mam said
- “…” you know, but I wanted to say “let me speak”
- In all the cases I couldn’t say anything but to smile at their stupid thoughts.
- Their misunderstandings…