Chapter X
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  • 28th Nov, 0’o clock


  • Am I repeating the same mistake? I mean what people do after they breakup in relationships, I guess they get apart and move on. But wtf am I doing?
  • Ok… let’s be conscious

  • It was her birthday today. Though it was nice but my dopamine levels are getting like graphs of share market. Why? Is it Instagram behind the scenes? May be…
  • I planned everything a month ago when she called back (my good luck?). I just wanted to surprise my class and force them to think “Is Ravi really innocent?”
  • Anyway… she picked the call!
  • “I don’t understand! You call me and then you don’t pick when I call back!”
  • I started with an obvious frustration.
  • And it was enough to hint Rinku that Ravi needs some space and she changed her seat. Good.
  • “I had no recharge” she replied
  • “You are salaried person so why?” I countered
  • “Actually, I don’t want to talk to anyone that’s why”
  • “Oh… ok then got it. I won’t call again…”
  • And then I directly came to point apart from her superstitious thoughts and questions about love and attractions. I fixed 27th Nov to go out together.
  • “Oh… 27th Nov, a date…” Kajal whispered
  • “Will you keep quiet, learn from Rinku and Diksha about how to give someone privacy” I said smiling though I liked her interruptions.
  • By the way, it really seems a date when you ask the opposite gender to go with you alone.
  • Anyway, that day I talked her for an hour until my phone got dead and my classmates changed their mind from
  • “Ravi is kinda studious person”
  • To
  • “Ravi is not that innocent as we thought”
  • Huh… let them be confused as long as I like

  • …

  • Everything was well until the few days to her birthday. Until she said…
  • “Ravi… I think you still have feelings for me”
  • I didn’t respond
  • “I felt it, on that day of fair” she continued

  • ***flash back***
  • Yep, it was Dashhara and as always, we made a sudden plan to go to the fair. I called and convinced her to come (or blackmailed her… haha). The moment she came, I even can’t believe that I said “You look pretty” the first time to a girl. The same way she replied. Then we went Sector 10, inside the crowd where I was holding a child’s hand. Obviously, I am taking about her. It was too dusty so I offered my handkerchief (which she never returned, reminding me of the water bottle). We moved further through the crowd and now Sobhit got lost. Don’t assume any of us to be serious even in this situation, specially me. Then, we enjoyed a ride with hundreds of photophile insects. (Photophile = light lover, me being genZ)
  • Finally, I and Ayub dropped her home safely.
  • I remember her saying…
  • “Won’t your parents scold you for being late?”
  • “They will surely do, if I leave you here midnight”
  • (Special thanks to Bilal for not helping that day!)

  • ***
  • “And I think you have a lot of expectations”
  • Again I didn’t respond…

  • ***another flashback ***
  • “What is your biggest desire with a girl?” They asked me as soon as it was my turn
  • “It is… to kiss” I said

  • It was a truth & dare game being played on the occasion of Eid at Bilal’s place at 10pm and until I got several calls from Mom. The door shut close and the game continued with no hesitation. No hesitation from revealing their drinking experiences to hookups.
  • “Bilal has casually done your desire” Vishal said
  • (Everyone started laughing… )


  • ***
  • “All boys are like this. When a girl smiles, they think something else and…”
  • Here, I interrupted and said…
  • “I am not coming”

  • I knew everything had messed up. My plans were not going to work… as it was not my birthday.

  • **back to present ***
  • As I had no option so I played the wild card. We along with her cousin visited Bangla Sahib. Luckily she was not the same cousin who accompanied us in our last visit to Humayun’s Tomb. I recalled the way to Gurudwara from my memories. The memories where we both ran from Gurudwara to CP. The memories where we held hands.
  • Anyway, I was walking carelessly (like always)
  • “This is why you don’t get a girlfriend” she said as she couldn’t match my careless walking and jumping with heels.
  • “Then I don’t want that type of girl. I want someone who can jump along with me. If she falls I am there to hold…” I replied freely.
  • At the end we got late by 1.5hours, just waiting at the gurudwara’s stands. I knew it’s my responsibility (as expected) but my introvert nature would not allow me to ask someone whether are standing at the right stand?
  • “What happened Ravi?” She said.
  • “Nothing… “ I said faking smile
  • It’s fine for me to get worried but why was she asking the same question whenever I kept silent?

  • Ok. Nothing else…
  • No more overthinking…
  • No more listening to whom she feels for or whom she doesn’t or whom she is confused about…
  • And about my expectations? They have been fulfilled since it all begin :)

  • The End

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